She Keeps Kissing Me
by crazycatt71
Summary: The Doctor asks Jack for advice.


Ianto Jones looked up as the bell on the tourist office door janged. A tall, lanky man in a tweed jacket and bow tie stood just inside the door, looking around. His eyes finally landed on Ianto and he marched up to the counter.

" I need to speak to Jack Harkness, right now." he declared.

Ianto pressed the button under the counter that alerted the Hub that something was up. He smiled at the stranger before him.

There's no Jack Harkness here, sir," he said politely,

The stranger's eyes bugged out. He leaned over the counter and grabbed Ianto by the front of his shirt.

" I really need to talk to Jack," he said, " I don't understand what's going on, Jack can explain it to me, he understands these things."

"Take your hands off of Ianto and step back, slowly, keep the hands where I can see them." an American accented voice said.

Ianto looked over his shoulder to see Captain Jack Harkness standing there , pointing his Welby at the stranger. The stranger let go of Ianto, but instead of stepping back, he walked toward Jack.

"Whoa, stop right there." Jack demanded

"Jack, it's me." the stranger said, stopping in front of him.

"I don't know you." Jack said, cocking his head as he realized something felt familiar about the man in front of him.

"Jacky boy, it's me," the man said "I know I don't look the same as the last time we saw each other, but it's me."

"Doc?" Jack asked, "Is that you?"

"That's what I've been trying to tell you." the Doctor said with a huff.

Jack lowered his gun and pulled the Doctor into a crushing hug.

"How are you? Why are you here?" Jack asked.

"I really need to talk to you, I'm so confused. You can explain it to me, you understand these things." the Doctor said in a long rush.

"Ok, ok," Jack said, patting his shoulder. " let's go to my office and I'll do what I can."

He turned to Ianto.

"Would you close up here and bring us some coffee?" he asked.

"Of course, Sir." Ianto said.

Jack led the Doctor through the secret entrance to the Hub and up to his office. He watched the Doctor's almost manic pacing of his office from his desk chair. He almost jumped out of his skin when Ianto brought in the coffee.

"Hey, Doc." Jack said, "Why don't you have a seat and tell me what's wrong."

The Doctor perched on a chair across from Jack's desk and fidgeted nervously.

"She keeps kissing me." he blurted. "I don't know why, but she keeps kissing me."

"Who?" Jack asked.

"Amy, Amelia Pond, my new companion, " the Doctor said, " Ginger hair, lots of spunk, and an uncontrolled urge to kiss me."

Jack chuckled. This new Doctor was a lot more socially award than the last. He was coming all unraveled because a woman kissed him.

"Let me get this strait. You have a beautiful new companion who likes kissing you and you don't like it." Jack said.

" I don't know if I like it, it makes me feel all squishy inside." the Doctor said. "What do I do, Jack?"

"Have you tried kissing her back?" Jack asked.

"Why would I do that?" the Doctor asked in confusion.

" Because this Amy probably wants you to." Jack told him. " You should try it, kissing is nice, you might like it."

"Kiss Amy Pond." he mumbled like it was a completely alien concept, which for him it probably was.

"I highly recommend it." Jack said, "Kissing can lead to all sorts of wonderful things."

The Doctor's face paled and his eyes grew huge.

"You mean sex." he gasped. "It could lead to sex with Amy Pond."

He looked so distressed, that Jack was afraid he might faint.

"Would that be such a bad thing?" he asked.

The Doctor just stared at him.

"I don't know." he finally admitted.

"Why don't you just kiss her and see what happens." Jack said, "Let nature take it's own course."

The Doctor fussed and fidgeted, then jumped up to pace around the office, pulling at his hair and muttering. After a few minutes he seemed to reach a conclusion, because he marched up to Jack's desk and grabbed his hand, shaking it vigorously.

"Thanks, Jack." he said, heading for the door, "You've been a big help."

Ianto came into the office after he left.

"What was all that about, then?" he asked as he cleaned up the coffee dishes.

"Kissing." Jack told him.

Ianto raised a eyebrow. Jack just grinned.


End file.
